I find myself heaving a lot of dramatic sighs these days. I need to make an important decision, and I can't seem to make up my mind. I have meditated until the cows came home, but I still don't find peace in my heart, no matter which way I think I should go. I'm worried that if I make the wrong decision, I won't be able to put it back together should it blow up in my face. You know? I haven't been talking about this with anyone, because I'm pretty sure if I talk about it, I'm going to start crying. I don't cry in front of other people. Like, ever. It's so uncomfortable for me and not at all cathartic. Anyways, I am now dragging my feet. Alternately agonizing over and ignoring the problem. Hoping that a solution jumps out of the bushes at me. Basically doing anything I can to avoid the grown-up business of Making The Tough Choices.
(I don't wanna be a grown up and you can't make me!)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
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Okay well if I'm thinking of what you're talking about, I say do what's not only in your best interest but also the kids. You were quick to point out to me that people don't change...and it seems to me that neither one of you are happy -- you can't change him, he can't change you. Just know that as crowded as it may be here, you are always welcome to stay here for awhile until you figure stuff out.
ReplyDeleteWish I could help- you'll be in my thoughts and prayers (yeah yeah I know...but you can't stop me).
ReplyDeleteUrgh. Hard decisions are hard. Been there, done that (pretty sure). Hoping you find peace...
ReplyDeleteBaby steps..... Get your ducks in a row and then it'll be easier to make the decision.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are having a hard time. Grown up things suck. When I get to that point, when I have thought through everything and can't decide, it is usually very helpful to consult another person. Sometimes, just saying everything out loud makes things make more sense. Maybe if you have to cry to get the words out, and you don't like to cry, you could consult a hotline/therapist/annonymous chat room. Then, you could get what you needed and not ever have to go back to that person/site/phone number again.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon. Also, happy delurking day.
You need to write an updated blog dear sister..when you find five minutes in the day to do so:)
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