Sunday, February 28, 2010


I am a neglectful blogger. Since I went back to work (which I still love), I have less time to do the same amount of things, and sadly, less time to compose my Delightful and Highly Intelligent Musings.  I do have a few ideas swirling around my head, but I haven't felt like getting them organized and writing them down. Well, that's not entirely true. There are some thoughts in my grey matter that have been yelling louder than the other thoughts, and the squeaky, disruptive wheel must be slashed and/or shot out before the other, non-squeaky or disruptive wheels. I do have a private, secluded spot where I am writing things down that I do not have permission to make public. I have just now put a dumptruck-load of squeaky-wheel disruptive thoughts in my Garden of Secluded Delusions and hopefully, will be free to once again regale you with my Fanciful Witticisms.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

I Blame The Kids..

..for causing me to treat my bathroom like a public toilet; making sure there is 100% T.P. coverage of the toilet seat, using my shoe to flush, and for godssake, don't touch the faucets.

..for individually and together breaking about 90% of the "nice stuff" and/or shit that isn't nailed down.

..for touching the remaining 10% of stuff not nailed down and moving it, and then promptly forgetting where they put it.

..causing me to speak these words, "Hello, Poison Control? Yes. How much bug dope can a child ingest before we need to go to the hospital?"

..for the state of my vehicle. Yes, it may appear to be an SUV from the outside; from the inside it looks like a flop house for hobos.

..for killing the battery in the digital camera (the one they are not allowed to touch), usually just hours before I am going to want to use it.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

How ARE you?! I have missed you SO MUCH!

So the last post may have given you the impression that I am bitter and angry about life these days.  That's actually pretty far from the truth.  2010 has been really awesome so far.  I went back to work. I got rid of the old, disgusting carpet and put new laminate flooring in the living room.

Things I Learned While Installing Laminate Flooring:

-carpet and underlay is really easy to roll up together and the more you roll, the heavier it becomes,
-I am not as strong as I thought I was,
-banana knives are really sharp,
-my knees cannot tolerate pulling carpet staples for more than 10 minutes at a time,
-MOST IMPORTANTLY: when you roll underlay over a sizable hole in the floor (oh, lets say.. the size of an old intake vent about 12" x 14"), do not tell yourself that you will cut the underlay from over the hole later when you get to it. Inevitably, you will step where the hole is covered, thus putting your foot through the underlay and then through the old sheetrock that someone nailed up to close the hole, and then you will smash your thigh against the subfloor and give yourself a giant, puffy, multi-hued bruise above your knee and have pain for days.

It's the little things, you know?

So anyways, back to the List of Really Great Things That Have Happened In 2010. Where was I? Work. Check. Flooring. Check. Ah, yes. My BFF Trish came to visit for five whole days, and her and her kids stayed with me and mine. We had a blast. My stomach hurt from laughing every day. I love me some Trish. And? My SIL (you know the one) and I mended fences. I got the apology I needed. I got an explanation for the way she was behaving. Things are okay between us. Funny enough, something she said is sticking in my mind, "After everything we said to each other back then, there's nothing we can't say to each other now." Wouldn't you know it, it's true. I don't keep my opinions quiet around her anymore for fear of setting her off; I just give it to her straight. Things are still in very early stages, but I sense a change in her.  I don't know for sure, so we wait. And we see.

So even though I have a husband who is doing his own thing on Valentine's Day and I have only my period and my pinkeye to keep me company, I am doing really amazing, thanks. And you?

Happy Valentine's Day

Oh, it's happy around here today..

White: the color of the tissues overflowing from every garbage can in the house because the Princess and I have disgusting runny noses.

Red: the color of my period. Which I got today. (OH YEAH! Thanks Mother Nature!! I wonder if Always will make a commercial about it! That would be awesome!!)

Pink: the color of my PINK EYE. Because a cold and my period isn't enough? Really? It's hardly sporting to kick a gal when she's down.

Regarding Mexican Standoffs:
My husband is MIA tonight. Again. Third night in a row. Valentine's Day, no less. Thanks for the lovely evening, honey.