Not *My* Child! Monday

Thank you, MckMama, for the Not My Child! Monday; it's almost like you knew what kind of a day I was going to have...

Well, my kids did not wake me up at o'dark thirty this morning. My children respect the privacy of bedrooms and early mornings and would not come through the door and up the stairs (two points of entry to our room; one child per) like angry, noisy Stormtroopers at 6:30am.

My wonderful, caring Hurricane has not been making the Princess cry at least once every 15 minutes since they both got up at the way too early hour of 6 am. My children would never do anything to annoy each other.

My lovely, charming Hurricane did not take a poop right in front of the garage and proceed to tell me what he had done immediately after. That is just... ugh! I, of course, would never make him clean it up himself with plastic bags. That would just be mean.

While I have been inside slaving in the kitchen making bread and cleaning up the house yet once again, my happy, helpful Hurricane has not spent a good part of the morning "playing" outside, ie. ripping down my clean laundry from the clothesline.

My sweet, gentle Hurricane did not take every single toy from the baby's toybox and put it in a giant pile in the livingroom. Right on top of the baby.

My fun-loving, go-getter Hurricane did not decide that he and the Princess were thirsty and thus helped himself to two Diet Pepsis, one of which he gave to his sister. To dump all over herself. And then she cried.

I did not throw in the towel upon spotting them running hellbent for leather across the yard, him with Pepsi sloshing out of the can everywhere, and laugh.

I did not make all my children go to bed shortly after lunch so I could get a freaking break from the insanity.

I am not sitting here revelling in the quiet.