Monday, July 20, 2009

Not *My* Child! Monday

Thank you, MckMama, for the Not My Child! Monday; it's almost like you knew what kind of a day I was going to have...

Well, my kids did not wake me up at o'dark thirty this morning. My children respect the privacy of bedrooms and early mornings and would not come through the door and up the stairs (two points of entry to our room; one child per) like angry, noisy Stormtroopers at 6:30am.

My wonderful, caring Hurricane has not been making the Princess cry at least once every 15 minutes since they both got up at the way too early hour of 6 am. My children would never do anything to annoy each other.

My lovely, charming Hurricane did not take a poop right in front of the garage and proceed to tell me what he had done immediately after. That is just... ugh! I, of course, would never make him clean it up himself with plastic bags. That would just be mean.

While I have been inside slaving in the kitchen making bread and cleaning up the house yet once again, my happy, helpful Hurricane has not spent a good part of the morning "playing" outside, ie. ripping down my clean laundry from the clothesline.

My sweet, gentle Hurricane did not take every single toy from the baby's toybox and put it in a giant pile in the livingroom. Right on top of the baby.

My fun-loving, go-getter Hurricane did not decide that he and the Princess were thirsty and thus helped himself to two Diet Pepsis, one of which he gave to his sister. To dump all over herself. And then she cried.

I did not throw in the towel upon spotting them running hellbent for leather across the yard, him with Pepsi sloshing out of the can everywhere, and laugh.

I did not make all my children go to bed shortly after lunch so I could get a freaking break from the insanity.

I am not sitting here revelling in the quiet.


  1. these are great!!!
    I like how you call your boy Hurricane :)

  2. Oh, I wouldn't be doing that either. Not at all. Never me. :P

  3. However, I DID laugh out loud at your great comment over on my blog in response to my PPD post. "Unite For A Brain"--I love it.

    Hope you come back to leave clever comments again!

  4. OMG- You have NOT had a crazy morning. I do NOT hope you got at least a 2 hour break during naptime!

  5. Awesome. How is it again you're not drinking before noon? Or shooting heroine? Xanax? Zen Buddhism? Boxing?

    You don't exactly mention the absence or presence of any of these, so I'll just leave well enough alone.

    Also, I've done my own. Not as well rounded, but kind of - erm - frustrating - as well. I like this Not Me Mondays thing, but uh... past (present) performance doesn't guarantee future returns (translation: I'm pretty lazy and have blogging-ADD... and probably real-life ADD)

  6. By the way- your comment on my blog cracked me up. Of course that dirt was photo-shopped in! My house would never look like that! I am going to have to totally steal your line. It's just to good not too!


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