Where do I get these stupid ideas?
Today I decided to take my shiny new MP3 player with Sport Band out for a run. A RUN. What. The. Eff. ?.
I haven't been for a run for years. As in, 3 years. Not only that, I haven't been working out with any kind of consistency lately. In some kind of vicious circle, the not working out has led me to be disappointed with the scale not moving (169.0 last Friday), which has led me to believe that I need to start RUNNING.
What is wrong with me, people? (Actually, Rootietoot pegged it a while ago: "You're kind of an idiot." It's as valid a diagnosis as any.)
So anyways, needless to say, I am shockingly out of shape. So far out of shape as to be classified as dodecahedral. I started out with this harebrained idea that I would go running for 20 minutes today; you know, nice and easy. Something I could build on, because obviously for me, 20 minutes is nothing. I can do 20 minutes on my recumbent bike practically standing on my head.
Before I go on, I need to explain something so we can all really, really appreciate the richness with which I received my comeuppance today. One of my favorite shows to watch is X-Weighted. I love to watch people transform themselves with good old fashioned hard work and self-denial. I do need to admit, however, that when the people are doing their initial fitness assessments, I am the first in line to tsk-tsk about how poorly they are doing. Honestly, what is taking you so long, lady? You're going to have to move your ass faster than that. (Sidenote: I am usually snacking while watching X-Weighted. Sick, hey?) I then compare myself with how the contestants fare during that first fitness assessment, and (without fail) I can congratulate myself on Having Not Let Myself Go Quite As Much As That.
Until today.
Today, I got a giant smack-down. You know how far into my run I made it before I had to stop? 1 minute, 30 seconds. 1:30 and I was done. My legs: on fire. My lungs: begging for mercy. I had that thick, metallic taste at the back of my throat and cramping in my sides. I was pretty well ready to pass out on the side of the damn highway. I spent the following 10 minutes alternating 1 minute of running and 1 minute of walking. Then I was able to build myself up so that by the end of this "fun" run, I was doing 2:15 running, :45 walking. Oh. My. God. I am so, so out of shape. Thank you, Life, for kicking my ego right in the babymaker, and then kicking it some more while I was down.
In some sick, twisted way, it has given me a challenge. Instead of being all high and mighty about my non-existent Superior Fitness Level, I am forced to admit that I am going to have to work really, really hard to get to that 20 minute mark. You know, the super-easy 20 minute mark that was just somewhere to start; somewhere to build from? I guess (big sigh) I also should (big eye roll) acknowledge some bad habits (super pissy pouty face) like eating junk in front of the TV (another giant sigh and eye roll) and being all judgmental (finger quotes and catty tone).
7 hours later and my lungs and legs still hurt.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
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good grief. You're a nurse right, some sort of medical training and mess?
ReplyDeleteHow about this: walking!
I know! what a concept! (rolls eyes)
Actually I totally sympathize. I got it into my head that climbing stairs was the Best Thing. Then I decided the Thing To Do was to climb the stairs twice or 3 times every time I needed to do it, instead of the just once up, do whatever, once down. That lasted...maybe...once. Anyway. The whole getting into shape thing is best achieved gradually, rather than suddenly deciding to go out and run a 5K, even if you *do* have a strap on iPod.
Best wishes to you, but take it slowly, sister, that way I won't have to call you kind of an idiot again.
Bwahahahahaha! I laugh because this is so totally me. I always eat during the Biggest Loser. Poor fat people have had all yummy treats ripped from their claws and so I eat for them.
ReplyDeleteYep. I'm with the walking comment. And you don't even need to do it in the high-heeled Nikes. Um. Unless you want to.
ReplyDeleteUm. Yeah. I'm using my back as my excuse. *ahem*
ReplyDeleteMy entirely professional diagnosis based on the wealth of information available to me on this issue:
ReplyDeleteYou're running too fast.
I used to *hate* running for the exact same reason, until my fitness-buff husband said "slow down, stupid". He may not have said "stupid" (because, he's not, y'know, stupid), but he implied it. So I did and I started to actually like it. Granted I had to slow down enough so that I'm *practically* walking, but that's beside the point.
Slow down next time. Keep your heart rate down to 80% of your max rate which is calculated by your age minus the hypotenuse of an invertebrate... (I'm sure there's a bazillion links to calculate max heart rate. I'm sorry, that one I don't know)
WTH were you thinking? Are you outta your mind or just plain stupid...20 minutes off the bat? YEAH right! Good luck with that. Maybe you should do the 3 weeks to 30 minute running program I found online.
ReplyDeleteOh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
ReplyDeleteOh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
Oh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
Oh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
Oh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
Oh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
Oh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
Oh Foxy. You can do it, I know you can.
You'll beat that 20 minute mark before you know it. Just a little bit every day and you'll feel on top of the world.
Whoa, nothing like a good wake up call, huh? had the same thing happen to me except you made it further. I think I ran for 30 seconds before giving up. Good for you for figuring it out and doing the walk/run alternating thing. I have high hopes for you and your EASY 20 minute run. Next thing you know...MARATHON. :)
ReplyDelete