It's nights like these.

I am back to work tomorrow (after a few days off) for three 12-hr shifts in a row.  I had really hoped that tonight would be calm and smooth and what the hell was I thinking?

We had a big lunch, so I decided french toast for supper would be just right.  In my infinite be-on-top-of-things-ness, I put the two little ones into the tub before supper.  After bathtime and while I made supper, I let Little Dude crawl around just in his super-cool Diego poncho-style towel.

In the middle of making french toast, I dropped the cinnamon on the floor.  It may have been due to the fact that I had just discovered the front door knob was broken.  Broken as in, I had to completely remove it from the door to get the front door open.  Or maybe I dropped the cinnamon because I realized that I had a front door with a hole instead of a doorknob, that was basically a giant neon sign saying "Come In and Rob Us" and I was going to be working 12 hour days for the next three days and it was 5:40 and the hardware store was going to close at 6:00 and I had one half dressed kid and one completely undressed kid.

I half-assed dressed the children and practically threw them into their carseats.  I sped to town.  I made it to the hardware store with minutes to spare. Luckily (*snicker*), my children had the good sense to break the doorknob when doorknobs were on sale at the hardware store.  Gee, thanks, kids.

Well, since we're in town, I should pick up milk, I think to myself.  As I am pulling up in front of the little convenience store, my son threw something at me.  From two rows back.  I got nailed in the ear with the insole of one of his new boots (what the hell? I don't get it either).  I came unglued.  I'm pretty sure the whole entire street now knows how dangerous it is to throw something at someone who is driving and why my kid is never, ever, EVER going to do that again.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.  The kids eat.  I change out a doorknob.  I walk into the bathroom after attempting to clean the kitchen.  My children, my beautiful older children, have dumped water all over the floor near the sink.  My baby has toilet papered the wet floor.  With a whole roll of toilet paper.

Shower the big kid.  Teeth brushing for everyone.  Quick, quick, it's past your bedtime.  We'll do stories tomorrow.  Extra stories.  Into bed now.  Love you.

A half clean bathroom.

Two loads of laundry to fold, one still to go into the wash.

A half clean kitchen.

Two baby bags and one lunch to pack for tomorrow.

One Princess, refusing to stay in her bed.

One Little Dude, wailing away in his crib.

Why is this shit happening tonight?