Courage

(Go to momalom.com to find out what this Five for Ten business is all about. You won't be sorry.)

Seven years ago, a mother woke up in the early hours of the morning to the sound of her front door closing and, after checking on her two little girls, called the police to report a break-in.  When the police came, they took the mother's statement and dusted for fingerprints.  They got a description of the mother's wallet and purse, which the thief had taken. They called in a locksmith to change the locks and offered victim's services, which the mother declined.  As the police were getting ready to leave, asking their final Well, if there's nothing else? question, one of the mother's little girls, the seven year old, said,

"He left something in my room."

The world, the world came crashing down.

The man who had broken in through the balcony door had crept down a flight of stairs into the seven year old's room and molested her while her five year old sister lay in bed beside her. As he was leaving, a marijuana roach fell out of his pocket. When he was done, he walked out the front door, as though it were his own house.

The mother cried.

The five year old and the seven year old talked to the police the next morning. The five year old only knew there was A Bad Stranger in the room and I just pretended to sleep, Mommy.

The seven year old talked to the police, and the children's advocate, and the nurse, and the doctor, and the counselor. The seven year old told her story over and over, as many times as she was asked.  The seven year old went through intensive counseling.  The seven year old picked up her life and kept going.

How much courage does it take at the age of seven to tell your story about The Night the Bogeyman Came?

The seven year old is now fourteen.  She is a normal, annoying, funny, awkward, gorgeous fourteen year old girl.  She is an excellent student and a loyal friend.

Recently, one of the girls that she has known since kindergarten, that she used to be close with, decided to be malicious and bitchy and mean.  This friend told some other friends about the fourteen year old's molestation seven years ago.  Some boys thought it might be daring to walk up to the fourteen year old and ask her, "Were you molested?" to which the fourteen year old replied, "Yup. Now you can let it go."

Most of them did.  Two of them didn't.  Two of them decided that they ought to make the fourteen year old's school life hell.  Doing things like moving away from her when she came near.  Or saying, "Ewwww," when she passed by.  The worst, the final straw for the fourteen year old girl, was when one of these two boys said to her, "Gross. Don't sit by me. You're dirty."

The fourteen year old told her mother.

The mother, to her credit, did not go flying completely off the handle and start ripping the heads off of the friend who spilled the secret, the two boys, and all of their parents.  The mother called the school, and there was a meeting between the girl, her mother, and the Vice Principal.  The girl went back to school the next day.  The school handled it.

How much courage does it take for a fourteen year old to do the right thing and tell someone? To risk being the object of even more harassment when her friends find out she told?

When I first found out about all of this, I was mad. I wanted to kick ass and take names.  I wanted to get in someone's face and demand action. I wanted to protect the girl from these little assholes.  I wanted to tell her, all of it means nothing, high school doesn't count once you're done; this sucks and it's hard and you just walk tall and keep moving and they can't touch you.

I didn't have to tell her anything. She already knows.

Courage.

**This is a close family member, not one of my own kids. Sorry for the confusion!