Saturday, May 22, 2010

I am trying to find the words without saying things I shouldn't.  I want to post something light and fun but I am neither light nor fun.  It feels fake to say anything but what I feel.  Things are changing around here.  I am not sure yet if it is for better or worse.  Better, I think.  There is still much to figure out.

I have pulled away from my real life people, and my internet people, too, while I come to terms with this change.  (I tried with Five for Ten, I really did.  The last two topics, Lust and Yes, were just too impossible for me.) This is my way; to pull away and let the hurt wash over me and through me, until I realize that I am not going to die. My pain is too private and I am uncomfortable with other people, even my close people, seeing my heavy emotions.

What else can I say?

I can only talk about my feelings:


My heart; she is heavy.


  1. ((hugs))
    Whatever I can do to help, I'm around. Sometimes pulling in and keeping to yourself to figure things out is the way to go. Here's to some wisdom, courage, and stuff like that finding it's way in to help.

  2. I've been there, and still sometimes am. When and if you're ready...I'm here. (((hugs)))


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