Friday, July 24, 2009

Didn't exactly dodge the bullet, walked away with only a flesh wound.

Conversation with my 4 year old:

Driving home from the city today, my darling Hurricane posed this question to me from out of the clear blue sky,

"Mom, when you were at the hospital, did the doctor cut the baby out of your tummy?"

I am not sure how I managed to have the 'deer in the headlights' look from inside the truck, but I calmly answered, "No." I can see where this is going, but am helpless to stop his next question,

"Well, how did the baby get out of your tummy, then?"

At this point, I know I am not going to get out of this easily, so I am preparing for the Talk. The Talk, of course, being an entire birds and bees conversation with a preschooler. I am wondering exactly how one explains that at a 4 year old level.

"The baby came out of my vagina," there, I said it.

"Oh. Did all your babies come out of your bagina?"


"Oh. Little Dude had a blankie in your tummy."

"Babies don't have blankies when they grow in mommy tummies."

"Well, then, he had clothes on."

"No, honey, he was just naked when he was growing in my tummy."

"How did he come out of your bagina? Did he have clothes on then?"

"Nope. Just naked."

"Oh," a moment of silence, then, "Can I have more sloppy?" Today was my kids' first experience with a Slurpee, now forever known in our house as a Sloppy.

Talk about anti-climactic!! I was getting myself all geared up to have this great, open conversation with my son about bodies and how cool they are, and he's happy with my simple answers? What the hell? I feel so cheated.


  1. "Can I have more sloppy?" is a common question around here. Rarely originates from one of the kids though.

    You may have dodged this bullet, but it doesn't matter when they get around to "but how did it get *IN* there?" it's always a shocker.

  2. LOVE those questions:) NEVER awkward at all is it:) hahaha my mum breeds ponies, and one weekend the girls were over there and saw the 'breeding' when they got home i said "so you learnt about sex today did you?" Dakota looks at me ,all shocked and goes "grandma didnt tell us that was sex!"

  3. Just wait, "the talk" and then "more talk" and then sharing said "talk" with EVERYONE is still on your horizon! LOL

  4. And you didn't even get to the diagram section, with the easels and the charts and the extra-large color posters! Why do these talks never go like they're supposed to?

    Next time, plan a PowerPoint. I think they keep kids' focus more. :)

  5. My 4 year old asked that question the other day and I let my 7 year old answer for him. How bad is that? I think the answer was that they cut the babies out. I didn't correct him, I just let it go. *Sigh*

  6. you guys crack me up. seriously. thanks for clueing me in on how the next few years are gonna go, with your how babies get in talk and horse sex talk and talk about more talk and i am thinking that i will just go ahead with that powerpoint and let the Hurricane teach his sister and brother.

    i think this is why "they" (the all-knowing "they" who work at the Fake Institute of Made-Up Stuff) invented the stork.


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