Letters of Intent, brought to you by Julie @ Foursons. Don't forget to click over there when you're done here.
I'm sure anyone with a husband will relate this week..
Dear Husband with a Death Wish,
Yesterday you played hooky from the job you will be leaving soon to do some online training stuff for the company you are about to start with. I am fairly certain the online training took about three or four hours, but you sat at the computer all day. You watched me clean the house, wrangle the kids, make bread, and do laundry. Then I cooked supper. I did not ask you to watch the kids, or intervene when they were taking turns trying to kill and maim each other. I specifically told the kids to leave you alone so you could get your computer stuff done. When I took the Hurricane to tae kwon do at 5, I assumed that you would clean the kitchen, because it has been our deal since the beginning of time that if we are both home, the person who does not cook has to clean.
Much to my dismay, when we got back home at 6, the kitchen was half-assed done. I appreciate that you cleared the table and ran the dishwasher (that mostly I loaded), but the job is not done until the pots and pans are washed and counters are wiped. I did not appreciate the shitty way you left it all for me to clean and flat out told me that you weren't going to do any of it. Then you sat your ass right back down at the computer.
We both know that I am a Woman On The Edge these days, what with the hormone stuff I'm going through. My doctor's appointment isn't until next Wednesday, so you'd be wise to watch your back, Jack. This kind of disrespect will take you places you really don't want to go. Do you really want to share your side of the bed with those unwashed pots and pans? Or maybe you would prefer that I stuff your pillowcase with every stinky piece of dirty laundry you own? Which, if you keep giving me Shitty Disrespectful Attitude, is going to pile up as I will go on laundry strike.
It is not wise to mess with me, Husband. I have ways of making your life extremely unpleasant.
Your Loving Wife,
Stone
Does it make me less of a woman to say that reading all these blogs of women who are married with kids makes me happy to be a lone ranger? Or am I missing something? ;)
ReplyDeleteI vote laundry strike!
Happy Friday!
I once changed the sheets on only 1/2 of our bed. My half of course. Hubby had irked me to no end and I refused to finish making his side of the bed. So what did he do? He slept on the dirty sheets on his side of the bed and the clean and dirty sheets met up somewhere in the middle. Numskull.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up!
LOL! I need write a letter like this! Mine spends ALL day out side "working." Drives me crazy!!!!
ReplyDeleteOoh, sounds like that letter was more than deserved. I hope he shapes up!
ReplyDeleteAren't husbands great? Thanks for letting me contribute on the other blog can I just post whenever? Can we put a blogfrog widget on there?? Let me know!! (brandieblood@hotmail.com)
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT! If mama ain't happy, NOBODY'S happy!!
ReplyDeleteOhh I love it! We sound like we would get along really well! haha ;)
ReplyDeleteStone, you are a beautiful hardass. Sleeping with the pots and pans? Perfect! Oh the perfect!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes. Computer-all-day-dad? Welcome to my world. But I don't even care if you are legitimately working all day or not. Nope. I don't. Cause I am too. So get your ass up every once and a while and do a small thing to help, dammit! That's what I say. If a child is screaming and I'm not responding, would it KILL you to check on it? Geez. I mean. Really.
I'm thinking a bed of pots and pans. I have a slacker kid like that who would leave his nasty tobacco spit bottles around. They wound up in his bed and the message was received.
ReplyDeleteSent your way via Momalom. I love this post! Sometimes the hubs infuriates--he does. And I go on "underwear strike"...which he won't notice that I'm on for a few days, until finally he looks in the drawer and...doh! No undies.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it might be copyright infringement or something legal like that, I will be printing off this letter and using it for my own life. That is if you don't mind....Or at least will use it as exhibit A when explaining to my husband that I am in fact not a crazy you-know-what.
ReplyDeleteHusband and I worked out a lot of these spats after I took all the pots he wouldn't clean and threw them away. We agreed we couldn't afford to buy new ones every time we argued.
ReplyDelete