Letters of Intent, Nov 13/09

Letters of Intent, brought to you by Julie @ Foursons. 

Dear Circles of Hell Save On Foods,

I truly enjoyed our visit through your bolgia aisles tonight.  I know, maybe it's not the best idea ever to drag your three children through the Inferno grocery store at 7pm after a long day and when everyone is tired.  Oops, my bad.

Well, it didn't start off terribly.  I didn't realize the magnitude of my catastrophic mistake until we were just about ready to leave Circle One: Limbo the frozen food section.  That's about when the Little Dude got stuck in the foot-well of the two-child steering wheel "fun" cart, and let out a very unearthly screech when the Princess tried to sit on his head.  And then another screech when I got him unstuck.  Did anyone else's ears start bleeding? Sorry about that.  I had just listened to him cry for the whole ride into town, so I barely heard anything.  Just felt the blood trickle down my face.

Wouldn't you know it, as soon as Little Dude was settled down with a bottle and a jerry-rigged seatbelt so he couldn't slide down anymore, we hit the Third Circle: Gluttony lunch snacks section, and some serious, major whining of, "I'm hungry," and dangerous cart-driving by the Hurricane forced me to enter the Fifth Circle of the Wrathful and the Seventh Circle of the Violent and grab him by the damn jacket and threaten his life firmly yet gently reprimand him.  I hope that guy that the Hurricane plowed into doesn't sue you.  Hey, I apologized.  As a former Single Person myself, I know that Single People much prefer to do their grocery shopping in the evening so they don't have to listen to a bunch of loud, obnoxious kids.

After I got One and Three taken care of, Two figured it was her turn and began leaning precariously over the steering wheel kid-containment area of the shopping cart into the grocery area of the shopping cart.  Her aim? To  open and/or squish and/or smash and/or dump as many boxes and bags as possible like the wraith of the Fourth Circle of Wasters that she is.  I bet your stock-boy thought it was cute; I'm sure he loved chasing after us giving us stuff that was being tossed out of the cart.  The baby's bottle, granola bars, stuff out of my purse..

Eventually, we did make it to the till with all present and accounted for.  I was reminded that there is nothing like a crying baby to make a checkout girl haul ass and get those groceries through the till.  I could tell she was real happy to see me pull out my coupon wallet, too cause I'm still queen of the Fourth Circle Spendthrifts, bitches.

So thanks for showing us a good time, Circles of Hell Save-On Foods.  Let's do it again soon!

Sincerely,
Stone