Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I am at a loss for finding stuff this week. Not that I didn't do a bunch of stuff, I think it was either so stupid or traumatic that my mind has blocked it out. Here is what I remember:

I did not completely embarass my darling husband in the video store when I saw a movie titled Donkey Punch. I did not loudly ask, "Donkey Punch? What the heck is a Donkey Punch?" To which he did not stammer a reply explaining what a donkey punch is. If you don't know, you can go here. WARNING: It's sexually explicit and frankly, disgusting. (The kind of thing you're better off not knowing. Seriously.)

I did not totally take advantage of my sister while she stayed at my house for 4 days before travelling back to BC. I would never sleep in until 9am everyday and let her do all the morning kid stuff. I also did not eat most of the pan of Rice Krispies (the kind that are made with fresh marshmallows) that she made for the kids.

I did not spend Saturday at a town fair 45 mins away with my whole "entourage" including: Hot Stuff, Best Sister Ever, my 3 kids, my niece and nephew. We did not have a wonderful time having a wagon ride, watching horses, watching the heavy horse pull, etc.. I also would never wait in line for half an hour-ish so the three biggest kids could get air-brush tattoos, while said small children ran wild. (Also, my heart was not bursting with pride when my Hurricane asked the shy little girl in line in front of us if she would come and play with him. To which she replied, "Not now, maybe later," and hid behind her grandma. Not even 10 seconds later she was running my Hurricane down and laughing and screaming with all the other kids. God I love my kid!!) After waiting in line for.. EVER, I did not let the two boys pick their own tattoos, of course they picked pirates. Hot Stuff did not point out to me later they weren't pirate tattoos, they were Grim Reaper tattoos. I most definitely did not send my nephew home with a Grim Reaper tattoo. I'm sure his uptight, serious, morally superior, tsk-tsking parents were fine with it. NOT!

Lastly, I didn't tell my Hurricane that running around and yelling would spook the horses. I would never, ever lose my patience and tell him that if he did not stop I was going to feed him to the big (harmless) dog sitting next to us. That is reprehensible parenting. Also, I did not laugh at my own inappropriateness. The owners of the dog also did not laugh at my inappropriateness.