Friday, December 11, 2009

Letters of Intent, Dec 11/09

Letters of Intent

Brought to you by Julie at Foursons. Click over and read some other great letters. After you finish laughing at me, of course.

Dear People Who Are Having A Shitty Day (and/or Anyone Else Who Needs A Laugh),

In the world of Stone Fox, days are seldom without some laughter/drama/tears (kids)/tears (mine)/carpet scrubbing (and that's not a sexual innuendo, unfortunately).  Today was no exception, although I did wake up and wonder to myself, Self, what are you going to post about today? Nobody has spewed any bodily fluids on any carpeting and/or upholstery for 24 hours straight.

Before I knew it, the morning was over and I picked up the Hurricane from school and headed into town.  A quick stop at Greyhound and then on to Wendy's, as I am not made of actual stone and the whines and pleas of the childrens does wear me down.  Know what I discovered when I pulled up to Wendy's Order Here microphone?  The Order Here microphone in the lane where there is no way to get out of the lane because it has a high curb and you can't drive out because there is a minivan in front of you and you can't back out because there are two guys in a pick up truck right behind you?

I discovered that my driver's side window was frozen shut.  Frozen. Shut. Tighter than a duck's arse.  So while I am wondering what the EFF is wrong with my window, I open my truck door, get out of the truck, and proceed to place my order into the microphone.  All the while, I am jabbing the open/close button for my window, trying (unsuccessfully) to get the son of a bitch unstuck.  I could hear the lady at the drive through window laughing her ass off when she repeated my order back to me.  I am pretty sure I heard the two guys in the pick-up truck killing themselves as well, but I was too embarrassed to even look in their direction.  I get back in, drive up to the Pay Here window.  Get out of the truck.  Give the lady, who is still laughing, my bank card as I lamely attempt to explain my truck window is stuck.  While I am waiting for the transaction to go through, I grab my window scraper and make a huge deal out of scraping the bottom edge of my window.  Then grab my bank card and get back into the truck.  Hammer again, still unsuccessfully, on the open/close button for my window.  Drive up to the Pick Up Order Here window.  Get out of truck.  Pick up order.  Hear several people inside the drive thru windows laughing.  Don't even bother giving lame "window is stuck" excuse.  Hang head in shame and haul ass back to truck.  Lay down rubber speeding out of drive thru lane.

I drove four blocks before I pulled over and gave the kids their meals.

We're probably going to start eating at A&W's now.

Having a great day,


  1. We had a van window that misbehaved like that. How come you never find that out when, y'know, you're someplace it doesn't really matter, like driving down the road and you just want to open the window and hang your arm out, or something? How come it never happens when there's NO ONE around? I dunno, but I feel your pain.

  2. My window on the driver's side has a temperament. If it's too hot it won't open. If it's freezing cold it won't open. Drive through lanes are a bit#@ when that window doesn't work. I feel your pain but I have never actually had anyone laugh at me as I open my door going through a drive through. But I do pull up far enough so that I don't have to actually get out of my car.

    Thanks for linking up!

  3. =) that's awesome.

    When I was college, and I drove the hooptiest car in the world ... the only window that worked was the back left.

    And don't even THINK I was too proud to roll down that back window in the drive thru! hehehehe.

  4. Bwahahahaha! I would have PAID to see that.

  5. If it were me, my macabre brain would think better I learned it at the drive-thru window than after I crashed into a pond and spend precious minutes trying to open an escape route through it.

    But it's you, so I am just laughing at the visual. Pooor Stone Fox!

  6. That's hilarious! Thanks for the laugh it's just what I needed. And good for you for being able to look back and laugh at yourself. It's a very important skill.

  7. I thought we were supposed to keep our laughter at each other's haplessness to a dull roar for the entire month of December. Isn't that the rule - one get out of mockery free month per year?


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