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Dear Little Dude,
I'm tired, okay? I'm sorry that you are teething, but there is nothing I can do about it. I give you Motrin, we cuddle, we laugh, you have a bottle, I put you to bed, you commence with the wailing. I get you out of bed; you don't want a teether, you're not hungry, you don't want the facecloth, you don't want me rubbing your gums, and as soon as I put you to back to bed you start this crying business again. It needs to stop. Seriously. I am all done, baby. Alllll done. I am also WAY ALL DONE being woken up two or three times in the middle of the night. I am taking care of all your little baby needs before bed so I don't have to be coming down in the night to settle you back to sleep. One of these times I am going to break my damn neck on the stairs because my brain, which is supposed to be at the helm, is still actually asleep. If you could just tell me what you want, I would try to do accommodate you. If all you want is to yank my chain, which is what I think is really going on, sorry. I'm not that kind of Mama. You'll have to get over your adorable little self and cry yourself to sleep. I'm not going to play the game tonight. It's been a stressful week and I have nothing in the tank except nausea. Just a few more days until your Aunty Meg comes to visit; she is a much less tired second-mother and has much more stamina. Tough it out, kid.
Love, Mom
Dear Hurricane,
Thank you so much for making me laugh today. Yes, that guy was weeeeiiirrrrrddd looking. Maybe next time you could tell me in a quieter voice. Also, you don't know this but after you went to bed, I came downstairs and laughed because you asked me why I was freaking out. Who taught you those words? Oh yeah, me.
Love, Mom
Dear Princess,
Please, please stop taking your pull ups off during naptime. I am tired of scrubbing poop out of your carpet. It's very labour-intensive. Yes, I know we are going to replace the carpet soon, but come ON. Cut me a bit of slack, okay? I can't be changing your sheets every day or washing your toys all the time because you got poop on them, either.
Love, Mom
HAve you ever wondered why they don't make those pull-ups in a kind of body suit style, like a straight-jacket that snaps up the back so they CAN'T get them off? Of course, kids are Houdinis and would get them off anyway, but maybe if they came with alarms that would go off if they tried...tis a thought.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with little kids and shit? Don't they know any better??
That's awesome...you tell little dude that his all time favourite Aunty is coming to rescue him. We will however, be having a conversation about getting up 2-3 times a night! This aunty may have some stamina but she too, walks around in a fog at stupid o'clock in the morning!
ReplyDeleteAs for princess, have you thought about putting that kid in overalls at naptime? One with lots of buttons and snaps?
I'm glad Hurricane is enriching your life...you need some laughs every now and then.
See you in 2 sleeps dear sister!
Poor Little Dude- I hope Aunty Meg shows up soon so his tired Mama can get a break!
ReplyDeleteDon't ya love when kids shout out inappropriate things in public? Hahahaha
Have you duct taped Princess into her Pull-up yet? It just might be the answer to those nasty cleanups.
Thanks for linking up!
Oy. Sounds like a blast in your house right now. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh so funny! We just went throught the whole teething thing and it was horrible. But of course, she's not done yet. Nothing helps for them...or us!!
ReplyDeleteTaking pull ups off during naptime? Ugh! I am fearing that stage!
Ha! My oldest did that... Nothing said "Mom I'm ready for you to use cruel and unusual means to force me to use the toilet on my own" like an open-faced poopy diaper in the middle of the room... :-)
ReplyDelete(Relax. "Cruel & Unsusal" = Skittles. And no, I didn't throw them at her.)
Oh, man - I remember the autopilot nights parenting a little one. I'm very fortunate that I didnt' have any stairs to navigate, because I know for a fact that at least half the times I was breastfeeding, I was also mostly asleep. While upright. In a rocking chair.
ReplyDeleteHappily, she was a very self-serve child from about three months on. Most of the time, she was latched and going to town before I'd even sat my behind down.
My sympathies.
Yes, when my daughter was teething I was fed up. Not only was she up all night long, but we were living with relatives for the summer, and I was 7 months pregnant. I am tired just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, that same daughter, loves to take off her diaper. LOVES it. I am so glad she is still in onesies.
Ahh, the joys of teething. Had a nurse tell me once that if grownups had to teeth, they'd need morphine. I think moms of teething children need it too...
ReplyDeleteAnd too funny about your kiddo's public comment. They always find a ripe time for it, no?
About those wandering pull-ups... considered putting her in a zip-up one piece set of pajamas... backwards? If she can get out of them to get her pull-up off, you need to immediately call Cirque de Soleil :)
Poor Mama and poor babies.
ReplyDeleteMy friend had to cut the feet off her baby's zipper pajamas and put them on backwards to keep the diaper on through naptime.
Little Foot decided the Apocalypse was impending last night and could only be driven off with banshee wails.
ReplyDeleteThat, or it was nasty diaper rash.
Sympathies on the teething.
Dude. You need the vodka more than me. I'm sending it to you now.
ReplyDelete