Monday, October 5, 2009

50 (or 12) Ways To Leave Your Lover... Wondering WTF?

(I can never get divorced, because nobody will put up with my shit the way Hot Stuff does.)

1. Honey, I'm leaving you... $10 on the counter can you pick up some milk while you're out?

2. I don't love you anymore... I don't love you any less, either.

3. There's no spark left... in the furnace pilot light can you do something about that?

4. I love you, but I'm just not *in love* with you... r disgusting stinky feet.

5. I just need to find myself... a new winter coat.

6. I think we need a break... dance-off in our living room.

7. I love you like my brother... loves your sister*

8. We can still be friends... even when we're old together and your penis doesn't work anymore.

9. I'm just not that into you... Tube.

10. Listen, we really need to talk... about how awesome you are.

11. Right now, I have so much going on and I just don't have room in my life for anyone... but you.

12. I need space... for my new Bow Flex.

*Hot Stuff's sister is married to my brother. It's hardly creepy and/or Maury Povich-like.


  1. I need space...for my treadmill. Love it! And I think it's really cool that your brother is married to his sister. Way to keep it in the fam!

  2. You're getting the fucking boflex... What? You need something else to dust?

    Also, my husband has two "brother/sister" marriages for aunts/uncles, for a total of four couples. All on his mom's side, too (his mom was from a family of 13. In a small Mennonite community, that increases the odds of that happening considerably).

  3. Because I'm slow I was confused at first. But once I caught on...I was laughing! Thanks for the smiles

  4. @Harmzie - you're thisclose to accusing the entire Menno community of inbreeding. Just sayin'. Just because nearly everyone shares the same last name doesn't mean anything . . .



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