Sunday, October 4, 2009

Are you seriously serious?

Are you seriously

cashing in all 15 of your lotto and scratch tickets at 5:30 on Friday afternoon? Do you see the 9 people in line behind you in this tiny grocery store that has only one till? You couldn't do this at the gas station which at least has two tills?

going to drive in the passing lane on the highway at exactly the same speed as the person in front of me the entire distance from the city to my house, thus preventing me from getting in front of you and breaking into the 90km/hr range?

not going to be able to fix my truck until Wednesday? I have obligations, not the least of which is that three small children are dependent on me. Sure hope that pesky loose connection doesn't cause my truck to stall on the highway. That would suck.

serious, you want me to hang out with 20 preschoolers for 2 and a half hours?

trying to make me insane, bathroom scale? Why can't you lie? Why do you keep going up and not down? I don't want your excuses, bathroom scale. I want results. (I'll settle for lies.)

going to charge $1,999, IronMan Fitness Equipment, for this new-fangled Vibration Trainer:

which is exactly the same as this, currently on eBay for $19.99? Weren't we all just laughing at the hilarity and silly notion of this?


  1. "serious, you want me to hang out with 20 preschoolers for 2 and a half hours?"

    I did that once, it was worth it, just to be able to say I did. It totally justifies every single 3 o'clock manhattan since then (like, 7 years ago)

  2. The lotto thing would have seriously pissed me off.

  3. The lotto thing...ugh, I hate when people do that. Makes me want to punch them in the face.

    And the passing lane...seriously, I think all the idiot drivers from Michigan must be migrating to Canada to drive in front of you and then turning around and coming back to Michigan to piss me off.

  4. Oh that EFFING bathroom scale! I'd like to shoot the inventor. Seriously.

  5. The passing lane thing makes me insane. Seriously. Just inject me with an overdose of road-rage right here (the only places my kids have ever encountered swearing is written on the slide at the playground, and in the car with mom)

    And you are NOT going to get that vibration thingy. I forbid it. Don't make me come down there.

  6. Throw out the scale and then laugh. I only use the how tight are my pants method. It may have something to do with a project you are involved in that has somthing to do with cigarettes. You are probably at the phase I call "stabby" It will pass


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