Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Oh where to begin on this Not Me! Monday. Well first, I did not drag my kids and my sister on a 5 hour road trip to go to a wedding this weekend. I also did not cave and let my son eat worthless Dunkaroos instead of healthy snacks while on the road. My children, my little precious angels, did not stay awake all night on Thursday night. Because my children were not wide-awake, I most assuredly did not drag my 4 year old son down the hall, down the elevator, and outside the hotel at 2:00am to give him hell and tell him that if he needed to talk and run around so bad, he should do it outside in the parking lot. At 4:00am, I also did not pack my still wide-awake kids in the truck and drive around for half an hour looking for Gravol. Nope. Not me!

I did not have a major internal freak out at said wedding while standing at the mic attempting to be the MC. I did not stare out at the crowd and wish desperately that the floor would open up and swallow me. Not once did I screw up on the order of the speeches, pick the wrong song for the bride/groom and parent's dance, or at any time point the mic at the speaker, resulting in ear-shattering feedback. I also didn't forget to bring my camera. Never. I am calm, cool, and collected always. Because I am so cool, I definitely didn't sit down with the bride's brother and cause him to look like he just got punched in the guts when I brought up his ex-girlfriend, the one who broke his heart. Nope. Not me!

I also did not let my children run like wild savages at the reception, forget to brush their teeth at least once every day this week, or pretend that I don't see the lake of formula on the floor from where the bottle leaked through the bouncy chair.

Right now, I am not sitting at the computer at 1:00 in the afternoon, still not dressed, still not showered, with unbrushed teeth, letting my son watch the movie "Cars" for the second time today. And I am definitely not thinking of getting a snack and kicking my kid off the TV so I can sit down and watch Dr. Phil. Nope, not me!