Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Oh where to begin on this Not Me! Monday!! Well, first, I did not burst out laughing at soccer on Wednesday when my 4 year old ran off the field mid-game and proceeded to pee right out in the open where everyone could see him. I also did not point him out and make jokes when he started waving his penis around like a fire hose. That would be a terrible example of mothering.

Yesterday, I most certainly did not cause my sister and I to tear the house apart looking for baby carseat shoulder pads that I later realized never existed in the first place. Nope! I also most certainly never said, "I must be losing my f*cking mind!!" loud enough for all three children to hear. I would never do such a thing.

Although I admit to having the same sense of humor as an immature 12 year old, I definitely didn't offer to give my husband a bl*wjob while wearing my new nighttime mouthguard. My sister and I both did not find that so funny we could not stop laughing. Especially when I didn't put said night guard in my mouth, sit in hubby's lap, and suck my teeth while giving him lascivious winks. That would be disgusting. I would never do that. Not me!